I think people underestimate the extent of which anxiety can control ones life.
For me, anxiety looms over me constantly and is the soul decision maker in my life. It holds me back from so many things I wish I could be doing or should have done, purely because my mind had come up with a totally illogical ( but to me at the time perfectly logical ) reason. Its hard to try explain to someone why you are so dictated by this unseeable force. I find myself sometimes in the midst of an anxiety attack, suddenly able to realise that the sole cause of whats happening, is me. Its my mind thats putting me in this strife, so whats stopping me from stopping myself? Sounds confusing I know. As I said before. Its hard to explain.
Everyone has anxiety to some level, sure. Anxiety is a natural emotion when it comes to things such as public speaking or taking a test or before an interview. Where things start to get a bit more tricky is when you find yourself feeling anxious to get on a bus, or take your dog for a walk. Its hard to imagine that the most simple of tasks can provoke such heightened emotions. I know logically I should not be almost in tears at the thought of checking out at the supermarket, but for some unknown reason, I am. And so far no therapist has been able to help me with that. Which is okay I guess. I have been dealing with it for the most part of my life, and by now I’ve come to know what helps me and what doesn’t. But I can’t sit here and tell you what’s going to help your friend or partner or even yourself when you are struck in an anxiety filled situation. Everyone handles it differently, which can be a blessing and a curse. What works for me may be the exact opposite of whats needed for you, and thats okay. Our brains are just a little different. No biggie.
The easiest way I’ve found to cope is to get to know your anxiety. Get familiar with it and its signs so when you feel it bubbling inside you, you know what to do. Teach yourself how to understand. That way, instead of having the added stress of not knowing whats happening or whats going to happen, you can semi-confidently say to yourself, ‘i’ve got this. Ive done this before. I survived.’ Now as great as this sounds in theory, it doesn’t always transition into reality smoothly. As much as we would love it to. Sometimes life will kick us when we are down and theres nothing we can do about it. In those situations I’ve found the only way to get through is to just ride it out. It’ll stop eventually. You’ll feel better. Notice I didn’t say, ‘You’ll get better’ because truthfully, you might not. Anxiety isn’t something you can just get rid of in a day ( sadly ), and for a lot of people it doesn’t ever fully go away. Thats okay. You’ll get better at handling it, and you’ll gradually see it lessen.
I’ll be okay, and so will you. Anxiety hits us all. It’s truly an unseen bitch but hey, thats life. There’s nothing shameful about getting anxious. Absolutely nothing. You will get people who simply don’t understand and will just tell you to ‘grow a pair’. And to those people I say - you lucky bastards. If someone doesn’t appreciate how hard some things are for you, they probably are just inexperienced and undereducated. Which is hard, but a teaching moment nonetheless. One day, - god know when - but one day, there will be no more intolerance. No more stigma and no more shaming. But until then, I am proud of you. You not only survive the anxiety, you survive the stigma and thats some strong ass shit. I am so, very proud of you, as you should be of yourself.
I'm proud of me too.